








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 789 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 258 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 44 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




51 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2285 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,299 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2839 | 25% |
| Smokes | 3295 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 2728 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 2437 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $962,809 of utility $154 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 110 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Frosty | 61% | 31 |
| #2 | Cheat-Ah Meow Meow | 54% | 59 |
| #3 | ॐGokuॐ | 54% | 201 |
| #4 | Shoddy RANDO | 53% | 140 |
| #5 | SquirtEEZy | 48% | 176 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SquirtEEZy | 50 | 0.0135 |
| #2 | ॐGokuॐ | 33 | 0.0080 |
| #3 | Shoddy RANDO | 21 | 0.0073 |
| #4 | Cheat-Ah Meow Meow | 10 | 0.0081 |
| #5 | Just Kai | 5 | 0.0047 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ॐGokuॐ | 550 | 0.13 | 13 min |
| #2 | Shoddy RANDO | 466 | 0.16 | 11 min |
| #3 | SquirtEEZy | 312 | 0.08 | 8 min |
| #4 | Just Kai | 122 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| #5 | Cheat-Ah Meow Meow | 118 | 0.10 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Nikolai❤ | +2.48 | 58 | 63 |
| #2 | Shoddy RANDO | +0.84 | 50 | 63 |
| #3 | ॐGokuॐ | +0.75 | 68 | 45 |
| #4 | Cheat-Ah Meow Meow | +0.49 | 52 | 72 |
| #5 | Frosty | +0.32 | 45 | 54 |





