








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 168 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 188 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 10 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2535 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,487 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2506 | 33% |
| Smokes | 1885 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 1423 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 1673 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $636,879 of utility $123 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 74 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | N 1 f t i | 71% | 14 |
| #2 | KOLA | 62% | 13 |
| #3 | Maraa | 58% | 33 |
| #4 | papyflash | 52% | 29 |
| #5 | Enze | 51% | 190 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | N 1 f t i | 71% | 14 |
| #2 | KOLA | 62% | 13 |
| #3 | Maraa | 58% | 33 |
| #4 | papyflash | 52% | 29 |
| #5 | Enze | 51% | 190 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Maraa | 3 | 0.0051 |
| #2 | Enze | 1 | 0.0002 |
| #3 | KOLA | 1 | 0.0040 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Enze | 547 | 0.13 | 13 min |
| #2 | KOLA | 28 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| #3 | papyflash | 15 | 0.03 | 0 min |
| #4 | N 1 f t i | 12 | 0.05 | 0 min |
| #5 | Maraa | 9 | 0.02 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | N 1 f t i | +3.44 | 90 | 51 |
| #2 | Enze | +1.24 | 84 | 59 |
| #3 | KOLA | +0.36 | 86 | 69 |
| #4 | Maraa | -0.36 | 66 | 33 |
| #5 | Tommy Shelby | -0.62 | 61 | 59 |





