








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1007 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 821 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 55 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 42 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 13 matches | ||
| Faceit | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 95 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




70 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
11145 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 39,129 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 10714 | 27% |
| Smokes | 8950 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 10184 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 9281 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,340,610 of utility $110 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 233 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dr.Sinep | 57% | 74 |
| #2 | kernsp3cht51 | 54% | 314 |
| #3 | FuNk | 53% | 253 |
| #4 | Nicolas Cage | 50% | 323 |
| #5 | suN0Leo | 49% | 76 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | arqis | 48% | 133 |
| #8 | gkgamers | 47% | 263 |
| #9 | Juicy | 46% | 57 |
| #10 | Shumar | 46% | 235 |
| #11 | Hoffsen | 46% | 134 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | FuNk | 38 | 0.0075 |
| #2 | kernsp3cht51 | 35 | 0.0055 |
| #3 | Nicolas Cage | 14 | 0.0021 |
| #4 | gkgamers | 12 | 0.0023 |
| #5 | Hoffsen | 10 | 0.0037 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | FuNk | 1206 | 0.24 | 26 min |
| #2 | gkgamers | 867 | 0.16 | 18 min |
| #3 | Nicolas Cage | 765 | 0.12 | 16 min |
| #4 | kernsp3cht51 | 485 | 0.08 | 13 min |
| #5 | Hoffsen | 356 | 0.13 | 10 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | FuNk | +3.00 | 85 | 68 |
| #2 | kernsp3cht51 | +1.40 | 81 | 59 |
| #3 | suN0Leo | +1.22 | 82 | 60 |
| #4 | collins | +1.07 | 82 | 65 |
| #5 | Nicolas Cage | +0.22 | 65 | 63 |





