








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 992 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 362 matches | ||
| Faceit | 83 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 44 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 8 matches | ||
| Wingman | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 17 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




62 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5908 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 15,128 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3105 | 21% |
| Smokes | 5254 | 35% |
| HE Grenades | 3594 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 3175 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,054,446 of utility $163 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 501 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dr.Sinep | 66% | 32 |
| #2 | FuNk | 61% | 173 |
| #3 | suN0Leo | 58% | 86 |
| #4 | arqis | 55% | 114 |
| #5 | Juicy | 55% | 40 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | collins | 54% | 314 |
| #8 | gkgamers | 54% | 245 |
| #9 | Hoffsen | 53% | 83 |
| #10 | Nicolas Cage | 51% | 196 |
| #11 | Shumar | 50% | 188 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | FuNk | 34 | 0.0097 |
| #2 | collins | 28 | 0.0044 |
| #3 | Nicolas Cage | 15 | 0.0037 |
| #4 | gkgamers | 13 | 0.0026 |
| #5 | Hoffsen | 12 | 0.0071 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | collins | 1016 | 0.16 | 24 min |
| #2 | FuNk | 858 | 0.24 | 21 min |
| #3 | gkgamers | 792 | 0.16 | 17 min |
| #4 | Nicolas Cage | 512 | 0.13 | 11 min |
| #5 | suN0Leo | 383 | 0.22 | 8 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | FuNk | +3.10 | 82 | 67 |
| #2 | kernsp3cht51 | +1.10 | 80 | 60 |
| #3 | suN0Leo | +0.73 | 78 | 62 |
| #4 | collins | +0.61 | 80 | 64 |
| #5 | Nicolas Cage | +0.28 | 65 | 63 |





