








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 487 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 210 matches | ||
| Wingman | 51 matches | ||
| Faceit | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 30 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




19 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2968 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,009 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2973 | 25% |
| Smokes | 2330 | 19% |
| HE Grenades | 3890 | 32% |
| Molotovs | 2816 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $663,236 of utility $99 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 15 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Arthur Mitchell | 74% | 19 |
| #2 | LA BM DE RPK | 56% | 61 |
| #3 | LaFlemme | 55% | 82 |
| #4 | TheNinjaBiquette | 50% | 38 |
| #5 | Papillon | Pvpro.com | 47% | 213 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | LaFlemme | 55% | 82 |
| #4 | TheNinjaBiquette | 50% | 38 |
| #5 | Papillon | Pvpro.com | 47% | 213 |
| #6 | Noisette | 45% | 109 |
| #7 | -Sax | 44% | 87 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Noisette | 14 | 0.0058 |
| #2 | LaFlemme | 8 | 0.0051 |
| #3 | Papillon | Pvpro.com | 5 | 0.0012 |
| #4 | TheNinjaBiquette | 5 | 0.0070 |
| #5 | -Sax | 4 | 0.0022 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Papillon | Pvpro.com | 835 | 0.20 | 17 min |
| #2 | -Sax | 422 | 0.23 | 10 min |
| #3 | Noisette | 261 | 0.11 | 6 min |
| #4 | LaFlemme | 261 | 0.17 | 6 min |
| #5 | LA BM DE RPK | 151 | 0.11 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | LaFlemme | +2.07 | 75 | 63 |
| #2 | Loubard | +0.58 | 67 | 61 |
| #3 | Arthur Mitchell | +0.32 | 35 | 48 |
| #4 | Noisette | +0.01 | 66 | 55 |
| #5 | -Sax | -0.25 | 63 | 67 |





