








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 129 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 103 matches | ||
| Wingman | 6 matches | ||
| Faceit | 6 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1209 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,532 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1160 | 26% |
| Smokes | 1622 | 36% |
| HE Grenades | 563 | 12% |
| Molotovs | 1187 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $425,363 of utility $127 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 5 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Arthur Mitchell | 71% | 17 |
| #2 | LaFlemme | 59% | 41 |
| #3 | Papillon | Pvpro.com | 56% | 73 |
| #4 | Loubard | 56% | 61 |
| #5 | Noisette | 52% | 54 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Papillon | Pvpro.com | 56% | 73 |
| #4 | Loubard | 56% | 61 |
| #5 | Noisette | 52% | 54 |
| #6 | TheNinjaBiquette | 50% | 24 |
| #7 | -Sax | 48% | 56 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Noisette | 9 | 0.0077 |
| #2 | -Sax | 6 | 0.0051 |
| #3 | Loubard | 3 | 0.0022 |
| #4 | LaFlemme | 1 | 0.0012 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Papillon | Pvpro.com | 417 | 0.27 | 9 min |
| #2 | -Sax | 343 | 0.29 | 8 min |
| #3 | Loubard | 213 | 0.16 | 6 min |
| #4 | LaFlemme | 168 | 0.20 | 4 min |
| #5 | Noisette | 138 | 0.12 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | LaFlemme | +3.76 | 78 | 65 |
| #2 | Loubard | +0.55 | 65 | 63 |
| #3 | -Sax | +0.48 | 69 | 65 |
| #4 | Noisette | +0.38 | 61 | 57 |
| #5 | Arthur Mitchell | +0.35 | 37 | 47 |





