








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 451 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 228 matches | ||
| Wingman | 24 matches | ||
| Faceit | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 18 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




18 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3198 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 13,715 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4936 | 36% |
| Smokes | 3502 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 2962 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 2315 | 17% |
Our logs show you have wasted $829,394 of utility $124 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 97 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | staYZ | 65% | 17 |
| #2 | Arthur Mitchell | 52% | 50 |
| #3 | TheNinjaBiquette | 51% | 47 |
| #4 | LaFlemme | 49% | 100 |
| #5 | LA BM DE RPK | 48% | 56 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | LaFlemme | 49% | 100 |
| #5 | LA BM DE RPK | 48% | 56 |
| #6 | Papillon | Pvpro.com | 47% | 140 |
| #7 | Noisette | 46% | 61 |
| #8 | Loubard | 44% | 87 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Noisette | 8 | 0.0061 |
| #2 | Loubard | 5 | 0.0028 |
| #3 | LaFlemme | 4 | 0.0020 |
| #4 | TheNinjaBiquette | 4 | 0.0039 |
| #5 | Papillon | Pvpro.com | 2 | 0.0007 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Papillon | Pvpro.com | 577 | 0.19 | 12 min |
| #2 | Loubard | 252 | 0.14 | 6 min |
| #3 | LaFlemme | 240 | 0.12 | 5 min |
| #4 | Noisette | 147 | 0.11 | 3 min |
| #5 | TheNinjaBiquette | 113 | 0.11 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | LaFlemme | +1.19 | 74 | 69 |
| #2 | Loubard | +0.50 | 64 | 63 |
| #3 | staYZ | +0.31 | 71 | 47 |
| #4 | Arthur Mitchell | +0.19 | 39 | 40 |
| #5 | -Sax | +0.17 | 68 | 68 |





