








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 895 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 235 matches | ||
| Faceit | 204 matches | ||
| Wingman | 53 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 37 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




19 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6512 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 18,471 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4112 | 22% |
| Smokes | 4530 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 4999 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 4830 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,811,985 of utility $153 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 173 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Arthur Mitchell | 68% | 31 |
| #2 | Orlex | 59% | 32 |
| #3 | LA BM DE RPK | 59% | 41 |
| #4 | Stixauzor | 57% | 104 |
| #5 | Papillon | Pvpro.com | 56% | 158 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | Papillon | Pvpro.com | 56% | 158 |
| #6 | Loubard | 55% | 82 |
| #7 | TheNinjaBiquette | 51% | 51 |
| #8 | Noisette | 51% | 71 |
| #9 | -Sax | 49% | 100 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Stixauzor | 14 | 0.0069 |
| #2 | Noisette | 10 | 0.0070 |
| #3 | Loubard | 9 | 0.0057 |
| #4 | Papillon | Pvpro.com | 4 | 0.0014 |
| #5 | -Sax | 4 | 0.0020 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Papillon | Pvpro.com | 565 | 0.19 | 11 min |
| #2 | -Sax | 462 | 0.23 | 10 min |
| #3 | Stixauzor | 265 | 0.13 | 5 min |
| #4 | Loubard | 227 | 0.14 | 6 min |
| #5 | Noisette | 160 | 0.11 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | LaFlemme | +1.59 | 78 | 62 |
| #2 | Orlex | +1.55 | 80 | 66 |
| #3 | Stixauzor | +0.78 | 63 | 56 |
| #4 | Arthur Mitchell | +0.37 | 43 | 47 |
| #5 | Noisette | +0.07 | 68 | 52 |





