








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 50 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September


The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 79 matches | ||
| Premier | 31 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
905 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,836 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 98 | 5% |
| Smokes | 675 | 37% |
| HE Grenades | 824 | 45% |
| Molotovs | 239 | 13% |
Our logs show you have wasted $297,035 of utility $89 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | intense | 44% | 86 |
| #2 | littlewooperband | 43% | 121 |
| #3 | RydrakeX | 41% | 141 |
| #4 | MasterMonkey2 | 34% | 77 |
| #5 | UnintensifiedFailure | 27% | 62 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | intense | 44% | 86 |
| #2 | littlewooperband | 43% | 121 |
| #3 | RydrakeX | 41% | 141 |
| #4 | MasterMonkey2 | 34% | 77 |
| #5 | UnintensifiedFailure | 27% | 62 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | RydrakeX | 5 | 0.0016 |
| #2 | littlewooperband | 3 | 0.0011 |
| #3 | MasterMonkey2 | 1 | 0.0006 |
| #4 | UnintensifiedFailure | 1 | 0.0007 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | RydrakeX | 384 | 0.12 | 8 min |
| #2 | littlewooperband | 281 | 0.11 | 7 min |
| #3 | intense | 149 | 0.08 | 5 min |
| #4 | MasterMonkey2 | 135 | 0.08 | 3 min |
| #5 | UnintensifiedFailure | 9 | 0.01 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | intense | +4.38 | 83 | 60 |
| #2 | RydrakeX | +3.97 | 85 | 52 |
| #3 | littlewooperband | -1.05 | 47 | 66 |
| #4 | MasterMonkey2 | -2.70 | 49 | 53 |
| #5 | brconner44 | -2.84 | 55 | 26 |





