








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 428 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 296 matches | ||
| Premier | 61 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 18 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




11 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4716 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,078 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3213 | 29% |
| Smokes | 2710 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 3698 | 33% |
| Molotovs | 1457 | 13% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,307,160 of utility $145 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 32 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | intense | 56% | 244 |
| #2 | littlewooperband | 50% | 358 |
| #3 | MasterMonkey2 | 46% | 226 |
| #4 | brconner44 | 41% | 141 |
| #5 | UnintensifiedFailure | 38% | 149 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | intense | 56% | 244 |
| #2 | littlewooperband | 50% | 358 |
| #3 | MasterMonkey2 | 46% | 226 |
| #4 | brconner44 | 41% | 141 |
| #5 | UnintensifiedFailure | 38% | 149 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | littlewooperband | 4 | 0.0005 |
| #2 | UnintensifiedFailure | 3 | 0.0009 |
| #3 | MasterMonkey2 | 1 | 0.0002 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | littlewooperband | 929 | 0.12 | 24 min |
| #2 | intense | 420 | 0.08 | 13 min |
| #3 | MasterMonkey2 | 420 | 0.08 | 10 min |
| #4 | UnintensifiedFailure | 37 | 0.01 | 1 min |
| #5 | brconner44 | 34 | 0.01 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | intense | +4.26 | 83 | 60 |
| #2 | RydrakeX | +3.40 | 85 | 52 |
| #3 | littlewooperband | -1.61 | 46 | 65 |
| #4 | MasterMonkey2 | -2.62 | 45 | 52 |
| #5 | brconner44 | -3.12 | 55 | 26 |





