








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 343 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 303 matches | ||
| Premier | 98 matches | ||
| Wingman | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 23 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3340 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 17,731 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3555 | 20% |
| Smokes | 6851 | 39% |
| HE Grenades | 3815 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 3510 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,649,951 of utility $160 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 505 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | intense | 57% | 235 |
| #2 | RydrakeX | 50% | 358 |
| #3 | MasterMonkey2 | 43% | 254 |
| #4 | brconner44 | 43% | 121 |
| #5 | UnintensifiedFailure | 39% | 142 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | intense | 57% | 235 |
| #2 | RydrakeX | 50% | 358 |
| #3 | MasterMonkey2 | 43% | 254 |
| #4 | brconner44 | 43% | 121 |
| #5 | UnintensifiedFailure | 39% | 142 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | RydrakeX | 10 | 0.0013 |
| #2 | UnintensifiedFailure | 2 | 0.0006 |
| #3 | MasterMonkey2 | 1 | 0.0002 |
| #4 | intense | 1 | 0.0002 |
| #5 | brconner44 | 1 | 0.0004 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | RydrakeX | 1021 | 0.13 | 23 min |
| #2 | MasterMonkey2 | 456 | 0.08 | 11 min |
| #3 | intense | 403 | 0.08 | 12 min |
| #4 | UnintensifiedFailure | 34 | 0.01 | 1 min |
| #5 | brconner44 | 30 | 0.01 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | intense | +4.42 | 84 | 59 |
| #2 | RydrakeX | +3.46 | 85 | 52 |
| #3 | littlewooperband | -1.36 | 48 | 64 |
| #4 | MasterMonkey2 | -2.35 | 46 | 52 |
| #5 | brconner44 | -2.76 | 55 | 25 |





