








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1017 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 351 matches | ||
| Faceit | 143 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 11 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




72 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
7789 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 18,837 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5537 | 29% |
| Smokes | 4644 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 4016 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 4640 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,146,306 of utility $96 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1845 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | b1 | 78% | 37 |
| #2 | JUstICEY | 67% | 54 |
| #3 | chamoy | 63% | 60 |
| #4 | spamzzy | 62% | 65 |
| #5 | yy | 60% | 58 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | chamoy | 63% | 60 |
| #4 | spamzzy | 62% | 65 |
| #5 | yy | 60% | 58 |
| #6 | wwwwwwwwww | 59% | 51 |
| #7 | guldam | 52% | 33 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | spamzzy | 13 | 0.0107 |
| #2 | chamoy | 8 | 0.0063 |
| #3 | guldam | 4 | 0.0059 |
| #4 | wwwwwwwwww | 3 | 0.0029 |
| #5 | b1 | 2 | 0.0027 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | yy | 218 | 0.18 | 5 min |
| #2 | chamoy | 194 | 0.15 | 5 min |
| #3 | wwwwwwwwww | 187 | 0.18 | 5 min |
| #4 | spamzzy | 146 | 0.12 | 3 min |
| #5 | b1 | 146 | 0.20 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | -*The Last Bullet Monk*_ 👑 | +3.59 | 86 | 63 |
| #2 | b1 | +3.39 | 88 | 73 |
| #3 | wwwwwwwwww | +1.38 | 82 | 71 |
| #4 | chamoy | +1.31 | 90 | 78 |
| #5 | JUstICEY | +0.64 | 65 | 57 |





