








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1843 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 400 matches | ||
| Faceit | 173 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 52 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 35 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




23 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
9709 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 31,475 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 11177 | 36% |
| Smokes | 6672 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 5413 | 17% |
| Molotovs | 8213 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,369,842 of utility $146 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 577 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | yy | 54% | 746 |
| #6 | g | 52% | 75 |
| #7 | lvmylv | 50% | 92 |
| #8 | GIAS | 49% | 45 |
| #9 | Ink | 48% | 86 |





