








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 17 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 103 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 5 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1305 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,276 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 938 | 22% |
| Smokes | 1263 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 1193 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 882 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $282,259 of utility $91 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 11 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | scarfacethebeast | 49% | 97 |
| #2 | Mellstroy | 43% | 23 |
| #3 | René Lévesque | 38% | 8 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | scarfacethebeast | 49% | 97 |
| #2 | Mellstroy | 43% | 23 |
| #3 | René Lévesque | 38% | 8 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | scarfacethebeast | 3 | 0.0014 |
| #2 | Mellstroy | 2 | 0.0041 |
| #3 | René Lévesque | 1 | 0.0056 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | scarfacethebeast | 90 | 0.04 | 3 min |
| #2 | Mellstroy | 39 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| #3 | René Lévesque | 24 | 0.13 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mellstroy | +0.89 | 49 | 52 |
| #2 | René Lévesque | +0.66 | 72 | 77 |
| #3 | Selma Grenon | +0.45 | 67 | 56 |
| #4 | scarfacethebeast | -0.33 | 56 | 44 |





