








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 574 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 100 matches | ||
| Faceit | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 48 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




22 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1896 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,263 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2049 | 33% |
| Smokes | 1474 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 1121 | 18% |
| Molotovs | 1619 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $839,084 of utility $193 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 44 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | TommyJ | 73% | 22 |
| #2 | straF | 72% | 50 |
| #3 | phi | 72% | 57 |
| #4 | Nec | 62% | 69 |
| #5 | illibabiPLSsaythebabi | 60% | 35 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | TommyJ | 73% | 22 |
| #2 | straF | 72% | 50 |
| #3 | phi | 72% | 57 |
| #4 | Nec | 62% | 69 |
| #5 | illibabiPLSsaythebabi | 60% | 35 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | phi | 21 | 0.0189 |
| #2 | Nec | 9 | 0.0066 |
| #3 | straF | 8 | 0.0079 |
| #4 | illibabiPLSsaythebabi | 2 | 0.0030 |
| #5 | TommyJ | 1 | 0.0023 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | straF | 305 | 0.30 | 7 min |
| #2 | phi | 154 | 0.14 | 2 min |
| #3 | Nec | 135 | 0.10 | 3 min |
| #4 | illibabiPLSsaythebabi | 117 | 0.18 | 3 min |
| #5 | TommyJ | 113 | 0.25 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | phi | +7.36 | 88 | 46 |
| #2 | TommyJ | +2.56 | 77 | 68 |
| #3 | straF | +0.36 | 78 | 68 |
| #4 | illibabiPLSsaythebabi | +0.13 | 73 | 55 |
| #5 | Waka | -0.52 | 72 | 61 |





