








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 530 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 241 matches | ||
| Faceit | 46 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 32 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4643 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 13,621 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3391 | 25% |
| Smokes | 3408 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 3848 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 2974 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,017,111 of utility $146 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 229 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | polz | 71% | 28 |
| #2 | MRTN | 65% | 23 |
| #3 | CyklisteN^ | 59% | 17 |
| #4 | Mærsk √ | 58% | 64 |
| #5 | $1lky | 55% | 29 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #12 | phill | 46% | 39 |
| #13 | Kongenafdetherlort | 44% | 18 |
| #14 | Ziiko Amaru™ | 43% | 30 |
| #15 | Zaxy Zax | 43% | 21 |
| #16 | ✪ Boben | 38% | 29 |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | niklas | +3.42 | 84 | 76 |
| #2 | CyklisteN^ | +1.57 | 76 | 71 |
| #3 | d-_-b | +1.41 | 76 | 69 |
| #4 | polz | +1.16 | 70 | 72 |
| #5 | MRTN | +0.71 | 81 | 63 |





