








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 595 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Wingman | 93 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 45 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 6 matches | ||
| Premier | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 17 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




17 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2776 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,366 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2335 | 28% |
| Smokes | 2292 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 1986 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 1753 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,073,766 of utility $159 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 857 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | whatshoppin' | 49% | 186 |
| #2 | Kerri | 48% | 21 |
| #3 | local | 42% | 33 |
| #4 | ♡ Mr. Delta Wolfsky ♡ | 41% | 92 |
| #5 | Lust | 40% | 42 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | local | 42% | 33 |
| #4 | ♡ Mr. Delta Wolfsky ♡ | 41% | 92 |
| #5 | Lust | 40% | 42 |
| #6 | Ol' Dirty Buzzard | 35% | 31 |
| #7 | SmOkeH | 33% | 54 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | whatshoppin' | 11 | 0.0032 |
| #2 | ♡ Mr. Delta Wolfsky ♡ | 7 | 0.0038 |
| #3 | Lust | 6 | 0.0077 |
| #4 | local | 4 | 0.0059 |
| #5 | Ol' Dirty Buzzard | 3 | 0.0049 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | whatshoppin' | 954 | 0.28 | 24 min |
| #2 | ♡ Mr. Delta Wolfsky ♡ | 213 | 0.12 | 5 min |
| #3 | Lust | 143 | 0.18 | 3 min |
| #4 | local | 79 | 0.12 | 2 min |
| #5 | Ol' Dirty Buzzard | 47 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ♡ Mr. Delta Wolfsky ♡ | +2.91 | 72 | 58 |
| #2 | local | +1.68 | 89 | 57 |
| #3 | whatshoppin' | +0.94 | 76 | 76 |
| #4 | Kerri | +0.90 | 63 | 61 |
| #5 | Lust | +0.29 | 84 | 66 |





