








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 338 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 218 matches | ||
| Wingman | 33 matches | ||
| Faceit | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 7 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




15 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2248 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,103 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1039 | 13% |
| Smokes | 2677 | 33% |
| HE Grenades | 2322 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 2065 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,274,843 of utility $193 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 54 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #9 | capri | 49% | 76 |
| #10 | FD GoD | 42% | 60 |
| #11 | Marcusbu | 41% | 17 |
| #12 | DjHoeFace | 35% | 20 |
| #13 | Hector the rat | 35% | 23 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | boog | 5 | 0.0015 |
| #2 | capri | 4 | 0.0028 |
| #3 | Hector the rat | 3 | 0.0063 |
| #4 | Marcusbu | 3 | 0.0084 |
| #5 | FD GoD | 2 | 0.0015 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Helt Feil | 153 | 0.12 | 3 min |
| #2 | boog | 149 | 0.04 | 3 min |
| #3 | capri | 101 | 0.07 | 3 min |
| #4 | aimbuilder | 95 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| #5 | M. | 77 | 0.08 | 2 min |





