








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 678 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 270 matches | ||
| Faceit | 103 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 7 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 51 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




32 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6093 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 19,419 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6301 | 32% |
| Smokes | 5543 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 3074 | 16% |
| Molotovs | 4501 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,890,587 of utility $159 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 897 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Carson | 65% | 34 |
| #2 | 𝙟𝙠𝙣 | 63% | 38 |
| #3 | Bearsboys | 62% | 52 |
| #4 | bozo | 59% | 39 |
| #5 | Pan1c -iwnl- | 58% | 96 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | t0st0 | 56% | 36 |
| #8 | chief | 51% | 308 |
| #9 | Chansey | 50% | 123 |
| #10 | Fruit Bowl | 48% | 65 |
| #11 | DirtyDan0991 | 40% | 43 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Pan1c -iwnl- | 5 | 0.0025 |
| #2 | 《《 QUaCKie 》》 | 3 | 0.0016 |
| #3 | bozo | 3 | 0.0037 |
| #4 | t0st0 | 3 | 0.0041 |
| #5 | chief | 2 | 0.0003 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | chief | 923 | 0.14 | 21 min |
| #2 | Chansey | 368 | 0.14 | 12 min |
| #3 | 《《 QUaCKie 》》 | 332 | 0.18 | 10 min |
| #4 | Fruit Bowl | 210 | 0.15 | 5 min |
| #5 | Pan1c -iwnl- | 182 | 0.09 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 《《 QUaCKie 》》 | +2.27 | 83 | 71 |
| #2 | t0st0 | +2.25 | 48 | 62 |
| #3 | bozo | +1.50 | 84 | 64 |
| #4 | GARY | +0.82 | 80 | 67 |
| #5 | Carson | +0.72 | 64 | 56 |





