








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 281 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 35 matches | ||
| Premier | 34 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 5 matches | ||
| Wingman | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1879 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,429 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1377 | 25% |
| Smokes | 1183 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 1308 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 1561 | 29% |
Our logs show you have wasted $505,741 of utility $121 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 79 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | cocomelon | 65% | 17 |
| #2 | GARY | 58% | 96 |
| #3 | chief | 56% | 73 |
| #4 | Chansey | 56% | 95 |
| #5 | t0st0 | 55% | 20 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Chansey | 56% | 95 |
| #5 | t0st0 | 55% | 20 |
| #6 | Soviet_Bandit | 53% | 15 |
| #7 | killa k | 42% | 12 |
| #8 | DirtyDan0991 | 33% | 33 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | GARY | 4 | 0.0020 |
| #2 | Chansey | 2 | 0.0011 |
| #3 | DirtyDan0991 | 1 | 0.0015 |
| #4 | cocomelon | 1 | 0.0026 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | GARY | 331 | 0.16 | 8 min |
| #2 | Chansey | 218 | 0.11 | 7 min |
| #3 | chief | 213 | 0.14 | 5 min |
| #4 | cocomelon | 79 | 0.21 | 2 min |
| #5 | t0st0 | 34 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Pan1c -iwnl- | +1.90 | 70 | 48 |
| #2 | t0st0 | +1.86 | 45 | 58 |
| #3 | GARY | +1.57 | 81 | 66 |
| #4 | cocomelon | +1.02 | 66 | 81 |
| #5 | chief | +0.89 | 79 | 54 |





