








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 306 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Office | 37 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 8 matches | ||
| Faceit | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 3 matches | ||
| Premier | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 24 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




11 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2074 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,788 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1621 | 24% |
| Smokes | 2035 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 1593 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 1539 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $758,790 of utility $177 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 17 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Flamyft | 73% | 51 |
| #2 | cozzer04 | 67% | 30 |
| #3 | Edging-Runner | 67% | 33 |
| #4 | Bosti's princess | 64% | 129 |
| #5 | Bostitch__™ | 57% | 44 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sawiiinya :3 | 26 | 0.0132 |
| #2 | Amy | Tonsillitis Gaming | 11 | 0.0047 |
| #3 | Vingummi101 | 11 | 0.0172 |
| #4 | Bosti's princess | 7 | 0.0027 |
| #5 | Flamyft | 7 | 0.0070 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sawiiinya :3 | 264 | 0.13 | 6 min |
| #2 | Bosti's princess | 137 | 0.05 | 2 min |
| #3 | Flamyft | 99 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| #4 | Edging-Runner | 93 | 0.14 | 3 min |
| #5 | Amy | Tonsillitis Gaming | 53 | 0.02 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | brainlessy | +5.02 | 77 | 59 |
| #2 | セリアスト | +3.21 | 45 | 35 |
| #3 | Bostitch__™ | +2.74 | 66 | 45 |
| #4 | Flamyft | +2.01 | 49 | 47 |
| #5 | Edging-Runner | +1.78 | 51 | 73 |





