








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 506 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Office | 323 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 38 matches | ||
| Premier | 36 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 17 matches | ||
| Wingman | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 21 different maps





Our logs show 40 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




47 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5963 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,667 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2179 | 20% |
| Smokes | 3818 | 36% |
| HE Grenades | 3198 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 1472 | 14% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,402,961 of utility $171 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 439 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | brainlessy | 64% | 129 |
| #2 | Erkki | 56% | 43 |
| #3 | cozzer04 | 55% | 188 |
| #4 | Neoranto | 53% | 40 |
| #5 | Edging-Runner | 51% | 53 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sawiiinya :3 | 114 | 0.0134 |
| #2 | Amy | Tonsillitis Gaming | 66 | 0.0101 |
| #3 | Bostitch__™ | 52 | 0.0098 |
| #4 | Vingummi101 | 40 | 0.0250 |
| #5 | Flamyft | 30 | 0.0111 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sawiiinya :3 | 1225 | 0.14 | 30 min |
| #2 | brainlessy | 293 | 0.11 | 8 min |
| #3 | Flamyft | 235 | 0.09 | 5 min |
| #4 | Bostitch__™ | 171 | 0.03 | 2 min |
| #5 | Edging-Runner | 139 | 0.14 | 4 min |





