








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 75 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Office | 42 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 10 matches | ||
| Wingman | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 19 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




58 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
845 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,937 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 559 | 29% |
| Smokes | 492 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 556 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 330 | 17% |
Our logs show you have wasted $286,772 of utility $102 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 709 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | brainlessy | 48% | 33 |
| #2 | Amy | Tonsillitis Gaming | 47% | 73 |
| #3 | Bostitch__™ | 44% | 55 |
| #4 | Bosti's princess | 43% | 81 |
| #5 | Sawiiinya :3 | 43% | 72 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Amy | Tonsillitis Gaming | 23 | 0.0167 |
| #2 | Sawiiinya :3 | 19 | 0.0160 |
| #3 | Bostitch__™ | 9 | 0.0086 |
| #4 | Bosti's princess | 8 | 0.0050 |
| #5 | Flamyft | 7 | 0.0145 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sawiiinya :3 | 139 | 0.12 | 2 min |
| #2 | brainlessy | 85 | 0.13 | 2 min |
| #3 | Bosti's princess | 55 | 0.03 | 1 min |
| #4 | Flamyft | 39 | 0.08 | 0 min |
| #5 | Amy | Tonsillitis Gaming | 35 | 0.03 | 1 min |





