








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 391 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Mirage | 91 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 71 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 70 matches | ||
| Premier | 60 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 56 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 27 matches | ||
| Faceit | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 14 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




35 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4740 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 17,975 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5864 | 33% |
| Smokes | 5040 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 3046 | 17% |
| Molotovs | 4025 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $652,961 of utility $66 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 748 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | xX-_-YUNG-SH1VA-_-Xx | 76% | 25 |
| #2 | Jamie- | 64% | 56 |
| #3 | starman | 57% | 83 |
| #4 | Nang Dogg | 56% | 27 |
| #5 | ( ^◡^)っ✂ ∪ | 54% | 67 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | ( ^◡^)っ✂ ∪ | 54% | 67 |
| #6 | Dog | 52% | 61 |
| #7 | Icekitty | 51% | 91 |
| #8 | 3vSqueezie | 51% | 97 |
| #9 | Ticd Off | 33% | 48 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dog | 10 | 0.0078 |
| #2 | ( ^◡^)っ✂ ∪ | 9 | 0.0065 |
| #3 | starman | 6 | 0.0035 |
| #4 | 3vSqueezie | 3 | 0.0015 |
| #5 | Icekitty | 3 | 0.0017 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jamie- | 307 | 0.27 | 7 min |
| #2 | Dog | 293 | 0.23 | 8 min |
| #3 | Icekitty | 249 | 0.14 | 6 min |
| #4 | starman | 161 | 0.09 | 4 min |
| #5 | ( ^◡^)っ✂ ∪ | 129 | 0.09 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | xX-_-YUNG-SH1VA-_-Xx | +6.30 | 88 | 66 |
| #2 | Jamie- | +4.37 | 81 | 72 |
| #3 | starman | +3.87 | 86 | 65 |
| #4 | Dog | +2.30 | 86 | 75 |
| #5 | Kimbab | +2.17 | 74 | 63 |





