








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 624 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 267 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 76 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 51 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 41 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 14 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




24 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4316 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,038 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1647 | 16% |
| Smokes | 2887 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 3296 | 33% |
| Molotovs | 2208 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,541,481 of utility $208 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 577 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Havok | 68% | 34 |
| #2 | aubbby | 63% | 64 |
| #3 | silly | 60% | 35 |
| #4 | Rebecca | 57% | 51 |
| #5 | Silvy | 53% | 145 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Pickle Ellie | 41 | 0.0050 |
| #2 | Silvy | 9 | 0.0032 |
| #3 | ♡⊹˚₊chips₊˚⊹♡ | 7 | 0.0036 |
| #4 | Yuuki Yusah | 4 | 0.0039 |
| #5 | Little Michael Jackson | 3 | 0.0015 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Little Michael Jackson | 431 | 0.22 | 9 min |
| #2 | Silvy | 422 | 0.15 | 11 min |
| #3 | Pickle Ellie | 277 | 0.03 | 6 min |
| #4 | TTV Drougen | 95 | 0.06 | 3 min |
| #5 | Rebecca | 85 | 0.08 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Silvy | +4.05 | 64 | 72 |
| #2 | silly | +3.90 | 78 | 50 |
| #3 | Havok | +0.96 | 23 | 62 |
| #4 | ♥ Puffy ♥ | +0.53 | 53 | 41 |
| #5 | Pickle Ellie | +0.07 | 36 | 39 |





