








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 346 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 81 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 65 matches | ||
| Premier | 54 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 47 matches | ||
| Faceit | 46 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 6 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




14 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3519 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,650 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 524 | 11% |
| Smokes | 1845 | 40% |
| HE Grenades | 760 | 16% |
| Molotovs | 1521 | 33% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,133,872 of utility $138 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 33 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | bokunopico | 66% | 112 |
| #2 | einniw | 60% | 204 |
| #3 | Shibal | 53% | 175 |
| #4 | Hugh JayN1s | 52% | 56 |
| #5 | WOKEJoe ( ͡o ͜ʖ ͡o) | 51% | 45 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | einniw | 467 | 0.11 | 11 min |
| #2 | Shibal | 443 | 0.13 | 11 min |
| #3 | bokunopico | 344 | 0.15 | 8 min |
| #4 | WOKEJoe ( ͡o ͜ʖ ͡o) | 119 | 0.13 | 3 min |
| #5 | Chaconine | 70 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | bokunopico | +6.94 | 81 | 58 |
| #2 | Shibal | +5.17 | 78 | 59 |
| #3 | ociqisewi-1090 | +0.39 | 48 | 30 |
| #4 | WOKEJoe ( ͡o ͜ʖ ͡o) | +0.31 | 60 | 59 |
| #5 | einniw | +0.30 | 70 | 57 |





