








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 215 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 37 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 34 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 8 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 13 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
716 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,888 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 563 | 14% |
| Smokes | 1142 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 915 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 1268 | 33% |
Our logs show you have wasted $430,416 of utility $140 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 108 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | nova #destroying_beginners | 67% | 9 |
| #2 | bokunopico | 61% | 44 |
| #3 | einniw | 54% | 71 |
| #4 | Hugh JayN1s | 53% | 68 |
| #5 | WOKEJoe ( ͡o ͜ʖ ͡o) | 51% | 47 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Shibal | 5 | 0.0042 |
| #2 | bokunopico | 5 | 0.0054 |
| #3 | allan20 | 2 | 0.0021 |
| #4 | einniw | 1 | 0.0007 |
| #5 | Hugh JayN1s | 1 | 0.0007 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | einniw | 211 | 0.15 | 5 min |
| #2 | bokunopico | 167 | 0.18 | 3 min |
| #3 | WOKEJoe ( ͡o ͜ʖ ͡o) | 149 | 0.16 | 3 min |
| #4 | Shibal | 135 | 0.11 | 4 min |
| #5 | Hugh JayN1s | 105 | 0.07 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | bokunopico | +7.27 | 80 | 59 |
| #2 | Shibal | +5.01 | 78 | 58 |
| #3 | nova #destroying_beginners | +3.54 | 81 | 60 |
| #4 | allan20 | +1.31 | 46 | 36 |
| #5 | WOKEJoe ( ͡o ͜ʖ ͡o) | +0.93 | 58 | 57 |





