








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1487 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 405 matches | ||
| Premier | 382 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 69 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 63 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 5 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 53 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




96 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
12851 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 46,684 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 12928 | 28% |
| Smokes | 12771 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 9669 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 11316 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,662,097 of utility $77 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1573 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | xlout | 64% | 59 |
| #2 | Nemo | 59% | 184 |
| #3 | TEANIE PEANIR | 56% | 120 |
| #4 | all throat no hands | 54% | 136 |
| #5 | Abe | 52% | 121 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Nemo | 59% | 184 |
| #3 | TEANIE PEANIR | 56% | 120 |
| #4 | all throat no hands | 54% | 136 |
| #5 | Abe | 52% | 121 |
| #6 | P_moT | 45% | 78 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | TEANIE PEANIR | 12 | 0.0048 |
| #2 | Nemo | 11 | 0.0029 |
| #3 | xlout | 4 | 0.0031 |
| #4 | Abe | 3 | 0.0012 |
| #5 | all throat no hands | 2 | 0.0007 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Nemo | 542 | 0.14 | 15 min |
| #2 | xlout | 203 | 0.16 | 4 min |
| #3 | TEANIE PEANIR | 191 | 0.08 | 6 min |
| #4 | Abe | 151 | 0.06 | 4 min |
| #5 | all throat no hands | 69 | 0.02 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Yami | +2.50 | 82 | 65 |
| #2 | xlout | +1.61 | 78 | 64 |
| #3 | Nemo | +1.04 | 72 | 70 |
| #4 | Abe | +0.29 | 65 | 48 |
| #5 | all throat no hands | -0.34 | 81 | 38 |





