








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 537 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 74 matches | ||
| Faceit | 49 matches | ||
| Wingman | 35 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 37 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




39 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2140 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,563 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2391 | 36% |
| Smokes | 1512 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 1200 | 18% |
| Molotovs | 1460 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $609,566 of utility $143 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 435 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | adept | 74% | 23 |
| #2 | ICY | 74% | 42 |
| #3 | Ark | 73% | 44 |
| #4 | meat | 66% | 53 |
| #5 | Japboy! | 55% | 53 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | meat | 66% | 53 |
| #5 | Japboy! | 55% | 53 |
| #6 | Fallout | 55% | 55 |
| #7 | ✪ Joey ツ | 51% | 65 |
| #8 | SGT. Beker | 46% | 46 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪ Joey ツ | 16 | 0.0121 |
| #2 | SGT. Beker | 8 | 0.0089 |
| #3 | Fallout | 5 | 0.0044 |
| #4 | Japboy! | 4 | 0.0040 |
| #5 | adept | 4 | 0.0083 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Japboy! | 243 | 0.24 | 5 min |
| #2 | Fallout | 213 | 0.19 | 6 min |
| #3 | Ark | 188 | 0.21 | 5 min |
| #4 | meat | 152 | 0.13 | 4 min |
| #5 | ✪ Joey ツ | 129 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kiteZr | +2.58 | 77 | 57 |
| #2 | meat | +2.15 | 77 | 63 |
| #3 | Japboy! | +2.08 | 69 | 71 |
| #4 | Fallout | +1.69 | 79 | 60 |
| #5 | ICY | +0.56 | 81 | 60 |





