








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 37 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 270 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Faceit | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 10 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




40 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3709 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,437 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3821 | 31% |
| Smokes | 3113 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 2670 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 2833 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,163,185 of utility $147 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 265 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kyros | 67% | 24 |
| #2 | kiteZr | 55% | 55 |
| #3 | SGT. Beker | 54% | 139 |
| #4 | Prussia | 51% | 43 |
| #5 | Proletariis | 48% | 194 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | SGT. Beker | 54% | 139 |
| #4 | Prussia | 51% | 43 |
| #5 | Proletariis | 48% | 194 |
| #6 | ✪ Joey ツ | 48% | 172 |
| #7 | Swegah | 21% | 28 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Proletariis | 56 | 0.0140 |
| #2 | ✪ Joey ツ | 31 | 0.0087 |
| #3 | SGT. Beker | 30 | 0.0105 |
| #4 | kiteZr | 18 | 0.0159 |
| #5 | Kyros | 9 | 0.0210 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Proletariis | 504 | 0.13 | 12 min |
| #2 | ✪ Joey ツ | 375 | 0.10 | 7 min |
| #3 | kiteZr | 234 | 0.21 | 5 min |
| #4 | Prussia | 181 | 0.19 | 5 min |
| #5 | SGT. Beker | 162 | 0.06 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kiteZr | +3.76 | 78 | 56 |
| #2 | Proletariis | +3.09 | 75 | 59 |
| #3 | Fallout | +1.41 | 75 | 60 |
| #4 | Kyros | -0.38 | 56 | 29 |
| #5 | Swegah | -0.70 | 67 | 43 |





