








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 18 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 313 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 3 matches | ||
| Faceit | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 23 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




70 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3314 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,862 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2977 | 30% |
| Smokes | 3350 | 34% |
| HE Grenades | 1121 | 11% |
| Molotovs | 2414 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,137,403 of utility $129 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 441 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kiteZr | 51% | 65 |
| #2 | SGT. Beker | 50% | 80 |
| #3 | Fallout | 48% | 172 |
| #4 | Prussia | 48% | 25 |
| #5 | Proletariis | 45% | 88 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | SGT. Beker | 50% | 80 |
| #3 | Fallout | 48% | 172 |
| #4 | Prussia | 48% | 25 |
| #5 | Proletariis | 45% | 88 |
| #6 | Kyros | 42% | 31 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kiteZr | 23 | 0.0172 |
| #2 | Proletariis | 22 | 0.0122 |
| #3 | Fallout | 19 | 0.0053 |
| #4 | SGT. Beker | 17 | 0.0103 |
| #5 | Kyros | 5 | 0.0080 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Fallout | 605 | 0.17 | 17 min |
| #2 | kiteZr | 286 | 0.21 | 6 min |
| #3 | Proletariis | 226 | 0.13 | 6 min |
| #4 | Prussia | 111 | 0.20 | 3 min |
| #5 | SGT. Beker | 101 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Proletariis | +4.76 | 80 | 54 |
| #2 | kiteZr | +3.66 | 78 | 56 |
| #3 | Fallout | +1.82 | 75 | 61 |
| #4 | Prussia | -0.81 | 56 | 68 |
| #5 | SGT. Beker | -1.02 | 66 | 38 |





