








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 170 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 52 matches | ||
| Faceit | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




11 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1438 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,357 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1443 | 27% |
| Smokes | 1230 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 1281 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 1403 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $293,037 of utility $86 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 61 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mousepads | 73% | 15 |
| #2 | har | 71% | 14 |
| #3 | hazy | 58% | 12 |
| #4 | minowskii | 57% | 14 |
| #5 | wlw | 48% | 83 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | wlw | 21 | 0.0123 |
| #2 | pnm | 19 | 0.0106 |
| #3 | drayyko | 7 | 0.0107 |
| #4 | hazy | 7 | 0.0292 |
| #5 | Mousepads | 3 | 0.0094 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | pnm | 465 | 0.26 | 11 min |
| #2 | wlw | 312 | 0.18 | 7 min |
| #3 | drayyko | 149 | 0.23 | 4 min |
| #4 | Mousepads | 114 | 0.36 | 3 min |
| #5 | hazy | 82 | 0.34 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mousepads | +2.72 | 82 | 60 |
| #2 | SadieSink | +2.10 | 57 | 47 |
| #3 | pnm | +0.42 | 70 | 53 |
| #4 | har | +0.22 | 59 | 24 |
| #5 | wlw | -0.33 | 75 | 46 |





