








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 130 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 12 matches | ||
| Wingman | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




14 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
500 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 665 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 66 | 10% |
| Smokes | 285 | 43% |
| HE Grenades | 177 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 137 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $221,629 of utility $169 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 126 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kneegrow | 63% | 8 |
| #2 | Walter Hartwell White | 63% | 8 |
| #3 | lord mobile | 52% | 25 |
| #4 | Heinz | 49% | 35 |
| #5 | Gus Fring | 42% | 50 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Heinz | 49% | 35 |
| #5 | Gus Fring | 42% | 50 |
| #6 | Jens | 41% | 17 |
| #7 | b4ldur | 41% | 27 |
| #8 | tanos | 40% | 5 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | lord mobile | 20 | 0.0433 |
| #2 | b4ldur | 18 | 0.0365 |
| #3 | Gus Fring | 17 | 0.0179 |
| #4 | Heinz | 3 | 0.0044 |
| #5 | Jens | 3 | 0.0096 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | lord mobile | 100 | 0.22 | 2 min |
| #2 | b4ldur | 84 | 0.17 | 2 min |
| #3 | Gus Fring | 76 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| #4 | Heinz | 29 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| #5 | kneegrow | 25 | 0.18 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Gus Fring | +4.49 | 36 | 30 |
| #2 | b4ldur | +2.33 | 24 | 70 |
| #3 | Walter Hartwell White | +0.66 | 23 | 42 |
| #4 | Skylanders_aaron | +0.08 | 39 | 20 |
| #5 | lord mobile | -1.07 | 11 | 46 |





