








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 642 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 201 matches | ||
| Faceit | 80 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Wingman | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 13 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




28 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3317 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 15,967 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5652 | 35% |
| Smokes | 4334 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 2706 | 17% |
| Molotovs | 3275 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $661,135 of utility $82 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 435 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DK | 63% | 49 |
| #2 | Loji | 55% | 42 |
| #3 | anarcho-kanyeist | 52% | 25 |
| #4 | 2147K | 50% | 101 |
| #5 | A TINY PINK THICKHEADED CAT | 50% | 50 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Baja | 10 | 0.0218 |
| #2 | A TINY PINK THICKHEADED CAT | 4 | 0.0039 |
| #3 | DK | 4 | 0.0040 |
| #4 | Loji | 3 | 0.0034 |
| #5 | Old Greg | 2 | 0.0008 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 2147K | 419 | 0.20 | 11 min |
| #2 | Old Greg | 253 | 0.10 | 5 min |
| #3 | A TINY PINK THICKHEADED CAT | 196 | 0.19 | 5 min |
| #4 | Fallen | 154 | 0.34 | 3 min |
| #5 | Loji | 135 | 0.15 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Loji | +4.38 | 81 | 65 |
| #2 | 2147K | +1.36 | 72 | 63 |
| #3 | jpk | +1.33 | 76 | 61 |
| #4 | Baja | +0.13 | 53 | 72 |
| #5 | DK | -0.49 | 71 | 57 |





