








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 867 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 696 matches | ||
| Wingman | 83 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 45 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




25 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
7541 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 44,104 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 19973 | 45% |
| Smokes | 2005 | 5% |
| HE Grenades | 11294 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 10832 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $442,218 of utility $25 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 3462 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Old Greg | 56% | 52 |
| #2 | They Live | 53% | 47 |
| #3 | SolidStateLabs | 52% | 182 |
| #4 | Ding Ding | 49% | 104 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Old Greg | 56% | 52 |
| #2 | They Live | 53% | 47 |
| #3 | SolidStateLabs | 52% | 182 |
| #4 | Ding Ding | 49% | 104 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SolidStateLabs | 10 | 0.0026 |
| #2 | Ding Ding | 8 | 0.0036 |
| #3 | They Live | 4 | 0.0044 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ding Ding | 256 | 0.11 | 6 min |
| #2 | SolidStateLabs | 163 | 0.04 | 3 min |
| #3 | Old Greg | 81 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| #4 | They Live | 68 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SolidStateLabs | +2.47 | 66 | 44 |
| #2 | Ding Ding | +0.21 | 81 | 54 |
| #3 | They Live | -0.15 | 64 | 54 |
| #4 | Old Greg | -0.55 | 59 | 60 |
| #5 | anarcho-kanyeist | -0.62 | 41 | 75 |





