








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 734 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 115 matches | ||
| Faceit | 4 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 13 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




12 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1857 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,497 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1412 | 26% |
| Smokes | 1639 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 1113 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 1333 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $647,043 of utility $182 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 187 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jpk | 55% | 42 |
| #2 | DK | 50% | 14 |
| #3 | A TINY PINK THICKHEADED CAT | 47% | 15 |
| #4 | Old Greg | 40% | 20 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jpk | 55% | 42 |
| #2 | DK | 50% | 14 |
| #3 | A TINY PINK THICKHEADED CAT | 47% | 15 |
| #4 | Old Greg | 40% | 20 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jpk | 3 | 0.0034 |
| #2 | A TINY PINK THICKHEADED CAT | 3 | 0.0102 |
| #3 | Old Greg | 1 | 0.0022 |
| #4 | DK | 1 | 0.0033 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jpk | 218 | 0.24 | 6 min |
| #2 | A TINY PINK THICKHEADED CAT | 71 | 0.24 | 3 min |
| #3 | DK | 41 | 0.14 | 1 min |
| #4 | Old Greg | 38 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Loji | +2.34 | 80 | 64 |
| #2 | jpk | +0.44 | 69 | 65 |
| #3 | DK | -1.24 | 48 | 45 |
| #4 | Old Greg | -1.24 | 48 | 49 |
| #5 | A TINY PINK THICKHEADED CAT | -1.39 | 59 | 57 |





