








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 124 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 39 matches | ||
| Faceit | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 7 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




24 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2242 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,301 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1360 | 26% |
| Smokes | 1440 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 1126 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 1375 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $573,457 of utility $165 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 205 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | KennyK | 83% | 12 |
| #2 | cobalt | 78% | 27 |
| #3 | fer | 78% | 27 |
| #4 | SayYouWill | 76% | 38 |
| #5 | PurnurplePanda | 72% | 25 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | PurnurplePanda | 72% | 25 |
| #6 | Pikmin Player | 67% | 21 |
| #7 | deejay | 64% | 44 |
| #8 | Titan_ | 59% | 49 |
| #9 | owL | 58% | 67 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Titan_ | 20 | 0.0198 |
| #2 | owL | 17 | 0.0124 |
| #3 | Pikmin Player | 6 | 0.0149 |
| #4 | deejay | 5 | 0.0054 |
| #5 | SayYouWill | 4 | 0.0050 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | deejay | 285 | 0.31 | 8 min |
| #2 | Titan_ | 209 | 0.21 | 6 min |
| #3 | owL | 196 | 0.14 | 5 min |
| #4 | cobalt | 156 | 0.26 | 4 min |
| #5 | PurnurplePanda | 132 | 0.24 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | shadow wizard | +5.00 | 84 | 65 |
| #2 | SayYouWill | +2.00 | 78 | 33 |
| #3 | KennyK | +1.64 | 86 | 53 |
| #4 | cobalt | +1.57 | 78 | 65 |
| #5 | Pikmin Player | +1.51 | 83 | 69 |





