








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 69 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 15 matches | ||
| Faceit | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 9 matches | ||
| Premier | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




47 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1266 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,264 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1961 | 27% |
| Smokes | 1727 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 1624 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 1952 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $245,995 of utility $106 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 30 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | KennyK | 69% | 13 |
| #2 | shadow wizard | 59% | 49 |
| #3 | owL | 55% | 33 |
| #4 | emile | 53% | 30 |
| #5 | deejay | 50% | 113 |





