








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 286 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 131 matches | ||
| Faceit | 71 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 7 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




21 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2882 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,905 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3260 | 33% |
| Smokes | 2683 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 1951 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 2011 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $874,388 of utility $148 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 183 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ☯☣ƈǟɨռ☣☯ | 72% | 18 |
| #2 | Laggs | 62% | 29 |
| #3 | Sprink1ezz | 59% | 17 |
| #4 | BasilTheHerb | 56% | 25 |
| #5 | Fr0stY | 45% | 20 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | BasilTheHerb | 56% | 25 |
| #5 | Fr0stY | 45% | 20 |
| #6 | NepH | 41% | 61 |
| #7 | Twitch/BugzTagem | 35% | 20 |
| #8 | PotatoAim | 28% | 18 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | NepH | 3 | 0.0024 |
| #2 | BasilTheHerb | 2 | 0.0035 |
| #3 | Twitch/BugzTagem | 1 | 0.0023 |
| #4 | ☯☣ƈǟɨռ☣☯ | 1 | 0.0026 |
| #5 | PotatoAim | 1 | 0.0031 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | NepH | 97 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| #2 | Laggs | 66 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| #3 | ☯☣ƈǟɨռ☣☯ | 61 | 0.16 | 2 min |
| #4 | Sprink1ezz | 45 | 0.13 | 1 min |
| #5 | Twitch/BugzTagem | 40 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | NepH | +1.14 | 54 | 43 |
| #2 | ☯☣ƈǟɨռ☣☯ | +1.01 | 62 | 61 |
| #3 | Mr Luba Wuba | +0.94 | 66 | 62 |
| #4 | Fr0stY | -0.64 | 50 | 44 |
| #5 | Laggs | -1.08 | 39 | 49 |





