








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 2 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 6 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 7 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
156 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 429 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 152 | 35% |
| Smokes | 82 | 19% |
| HE Grenades | 116 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 79 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $45,269 of utility $152 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | tjug0 | 57% | 7 |
| #2 | kJERS7AD | 54% | 13 |
| #3 | HEN9NG | 46% | 13 |
| #4 | chr1ss | 44% | 9 |
| #5 | Razin | 38% | 8 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | HEN9NG | 46% | 13 |
| #4 | chr1ss | 44% | 9 |
| #5 | Razin | 38% | 8 |
| #6 | reels^ | 33% | 3 |
| #7 | Snikanes Ulltæppe | 29% | 7 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | HEN9NG | 2 | 0.0078 |
| #2 | chr1ss | 1 | 0.0060 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | HEN9NG | 74 | 0.29 | 3 min |
| #2 | kJERS7AD | 43 | 0.18 | 1 min |
| #3 | chr1ss | 26 | 0.16 | 1 min |
| #4 | Snikanes Ulltæppe | 24 | 0.17 | 1 min |
| #5 | tjug0 | 12 | 0.09 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | chr1ss | +2.45 | 84 | 50 |
| #2 | Snikanes Ulltæppe | +1.71 | 71 | 84 |
| #3 | phrog | +1.54 | 82 | 59 |
| #4 | HEN9NG | +0.97 | 61 | 87 |
| #5 | kJERS7AD | -1.86 | 71 | 72 |





