








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 665 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 224 matches | ||
| Faceit | 197 matches | ||
| Wingman | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 21 different maps





Our logs show 50 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




58 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5738 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 14,032 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4349 | 31% |
| Smokes | 3760 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 3561 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 2362 | 17% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,335,088 of utility $201 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1851 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Y | 66% | 29 |
| #2 | M'bepis | 57% | 28 |
| #3 | Sirah | 54% | 57 |
| #4 | michael | 54% | 142 |
| #5 | Grim | 53% | 66 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #9 | Smux | 47% | 75 |
| #10 | Prank3d | 43% | 37 |
| #11 | Khaz | 40% | 58 |
| #12 | Mushu | 39% | 33 |
| #13 | ★ the dude | 34% | 35 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | HubicPair^ | 52 | 0.0112 |
| #2 | Mushu | 14 | 0.0205 |
| #3 | ʚ♡ɞ Mr. Yung Prime Shopper | 11 | 0.0046 |
| #4 | Y | 10 | 0.0160 |
| #5 | Khaz | 5 | 0.0040 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | HubicPair^ | 342 | 0.07 | 9 min |
| #2 | Grim | 257 | 0.19 | 6 min |
| #3 | Smux | 247 | 0.15 | 5 min |
| #4 | ʚ♡ɞ Mr. Yung Prime Shopper | 219 | 0.09 | 5 min |
| #5 | michael | 185 | 0.06 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | michael | +2.58 | 92 | 46 |
| #2 | HubicPair^ | +2.38 | 83 | 48 |
| #3 | M'bepis | +2.04 | 54 | 61 |
| #4 | Prank3d | +1.70 | 74 | 55 |
| #5 | Epona | +0.84 | 80 | 59 |





