










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 0 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.

| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 50 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Faceit | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 4 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




16 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
494 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,891 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 341 | 18% |
| Smokes | 481 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 483 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 586 | 31% |
Our logs show you have wasted $224,435 of utility $139 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 148 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | George Jesus | 40K Spotify | 60% | 5 |
| #2 | Timmeh | 50% | 40 |
| #3 | belle delphine's pink pussy | 45% | 31 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | George Jesus | 40K Spotify | 60% | 5 |
| #2 | Timmeh | 50% | 40 |
| #3 | belle delphine's pink pussy | 45% | 31 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | belle delphine's pink pussy | 5 | 0.0074 |
| #2 | Timmeh | 3 | 0.0035 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Timmeh | 51 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| #2 | belle delphine's pink pussy | 45 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| #3 | George Jesus | 40K Spotify | 17 | 0.20 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | belle delphine's pink pussy | +3.35 | 68 | 38 |
| #2 | various1490 | +0.14 | 52 | 45 |
| #3 | Timmeh | -1.98 | 13 | 40 |
| #4 | George Jesus | 40K Spotify | -2.79 | 64 | 67 |





