








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 583 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 319 matches | ||
| Faceit | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 14 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




13 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3669 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,863 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2041 | 26% |
| Smokes | 1361 | 17% |
| HE Grenades | 2064 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 2397 | 30% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,443,035 of utility $181 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 206 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | haze | 66% | 35 |
| #2 | fat rat blyat | 63% | 19 |
| #3 | Wierp | 59% | 37 |
| #4 | Sam | 58% | 71 |
| #5 | coca cola normal | 57% | 21 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sam | 4 | 0.0026 |
| #2 | smol pup | 4 | 0.0028 |
| #3 | Wierp | 3 | 0.0037 |
| #4 | Black Chicken | 2 | 0.0019 |
| #5 | fat rat blyat | 2 | 0.0048 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | KimmyS | 329 | 0.10 | 8 min |
| #2 | smol pup | 255 | 0.18 | 6 min |
| #3 | haze | 134 | 0.18 | 4 min |
| #4 | Sam | 117 | 0.08 | 3 min |
| #5 | Wierp | 83 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | coca cola normal | +2.45 | 77 | 65 |
| #2 | smol pup | +2.37 | 83 | 69 |
| #3 | Wierp | +2.33 | 73 | 56 |
| #4 | haze | +2.24 | 78 | 71 |
| #5 | Sam | +1.64 | 63 | 59 |





