










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 0 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.

| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 436 matches | ||
| Faceit | 6 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 93 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




27 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4730 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,896 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2578 | 22% |
| Smokes | 3894 | 33% |
| HE Grenades | 3234 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 2190 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,080,072 of utility $209 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 823 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | smol chicken | 63% | 24 |
| #2 | Wierp | 58% | 152 |
| #3 | A1EX | 58% | 71 |
| #4 | donle | 53% | 34 |
| #5 | Black Chicken | 52% | 104 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Wierp | 58% | 152 |
| #3 | A1EX | 58% | 71 |
| #4 | donle | 53% | 34 |
| #5 | Black Chicken | 52% | 104 |
| #6 | Praise-The-Blyat | 49% | 47 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Wierp | 10 | 0.0032 |
| #2 | Black Chicken | 7 | 0.0033 |
| #3 | A1EX | 5 | 0.0032 |
| #4 | Praise-The-Blyat | 2 | 0.0021 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Wierp | 220 | 0.07 | 6 min |
| #2 | Black Chicken | 149 | 0.07 | 3 min |
| #3 | Praise-The-Blyat | 103 | 0.11 | 3 min |
| #4 | A1EX | 98 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| #5 | donle | 71 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Wierp | +2.60 | 81 | 58 |
| #2 | Sam | +1.91 | 66 | 59 |
| #3 | A1EX | +0.55 | 92 | 45 |
| #4 | Black Chicken | -2.16 | 40 | 56 |
| #5 | smol chicken | -2.85 | 38 | 55 |





