








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 365 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 710 matches | ||
| Faceit | 97 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 48 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




19 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4857 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 31,992 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6155 | 19% |
| Smokes | 11378 | 36% |
| HE Grenades | 8181 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 6278 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,828,032 of utility $155 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 491 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Nominoa | 57% | 51 |
| #2 | fat rat blyat | 53% | 45 |
| #3 | smol pup | 53% | 139 |
| #4 | A1EX | 52% | 149 |
| #5 | Nip | 51% | 108 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #9 | akalaka | 46% | 81 |
| #10 | Zcent | 43% | 138 |
| #11 | Leij0n | 43% | 88 |
| #12 | Mo0nica🌷 | 42% | 65 |
| #13 | Veum | 33% | 46 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | smol pup | 11 | 0.0038 |
| #2 | bebsi | 6 | 0.0017 |
| #3 | A1EX | 5 | 0.0016 |
| #4 | Zcent | 3 | 0.0010 |
| #5 | Leij0n | 3 | 0.0016 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | bebsi | 582 | 0.16 | 13 min |
| #2 | smol pup | 490 | 0.17 | 10 min |
| #3 | Zcent | 394 | 0.13 | 10 min |
| #4 | Leij0n | 358 | 0.19 | 8 min |
| #5 | Nip | 277 | 0.12 | 8 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kp | +5.73 | 85 | 74 |
| #2 | akalaka | +3.83 | 72 | 69 |
| #3 | smol pup | +3.09 | 85 | 66 |
| #4 | Nominoa | +3.04 | 78 | 73 |
| #5 | Zcent | +2.09 | 66 | 71 |





