








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1401 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 1035 matches | ||
| Premier | 336 matches | ||
| Renown | 4 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 134 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




64 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
14973 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 29,922 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 8467 | 28% |
| Smokes | 5266 | 18% |
| HE Grenades | 9739 | 33% |
| Molotovs | 6450 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $5,577,140 of utility $181 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1293 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BREEZY | 56% | 186 |
| #2 | CÅMǾ | 53% | 174 |
| #3 | Mango | 50% | 127 |
| #4 | qb | 48% | 268 |
| #5 | cr4ck | 43% | 141 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | CÅMǾ | 53% | 174 |
| #3 | Mango | 50% | 127 |
| #4 | qb | 48% | 268 |
| #5 | cr4ck | 43% | 141 |
| #6 | Pumbass | 40% | 73 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | qb | 8 | 0.0013 |
| #2 | BREEZY | 5 | 0.0012 |
| #3 | cr4ck | 3 | 0.0010 |
| #4 | Pumbass | 2 | 0.0013 |
| #5 | CÅMǾ | 1 | 0.0003 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | CÅMǾ | 1035 | 0.27 | 27 min |
| #2 | qb | 782 | 0.13 | 17 min |
| #3 | Mango | 737 | 0.26 | 20 min |
| #4 | cr4ck | 456 | 0.15 | 13 min |
| #5 | BREEZY | 288 | 0.07 | 8 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BREEZY | +2.19 | 57 | 60 |
| #2 | Mango | +1.87 | 72 | 75 |
| #3 | cr4ck | +1.36 | 61 | 78 |
| #4 | CÅMǾ | +0.57 | 58 | 71 |
| #5 | Mamba | -0.28 | 72 | 50 |





