








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 348 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 142 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 35 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1986 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,816 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2323 | 26% |
| Smokes | 2013 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 2388 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 2092 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $368,673 of utility $97 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 77 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BREEZY | 50% | 28 |
| #2 | qb | 44% | 85 |
| #3 | Mamba | 43% | 141 |
| #4 | CÅMǾ | 34% | 35 |
| #5 | Pumbass | 27% | 11 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | qb | 44% | 85 |
| #3 | Mamba | 43% | 141 |
| #4 | CÅMǾ | 34% | 35 |
| #5 | Pumbass | 27% | 11 |
| #6 | Mango | 25% | 16 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mamba | 2 | 0.0006 |
| #2 | qb | 1 | 0.0005 |
| #3 | CÅMǾ | 1 | 0.0013 |
| #4 | Pumbass | 1 | 0.0040 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mamba | 261 | 0.08 | 7 min |
| #2 | qb | 255 | 0.14 | 5 min |
| #3 | CÅMǾ | 214 | 0.29 | 7 min |
| #4 | Mango | 72 | 0.21 | 2 min |
| #5 | BREEZY | 39 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | cr4ck | +1.58 | 62 | 78 |
| #2 | BREEZY | +1.47 | 64 | 63 |
| #3 | Mango | +1.16 | 66 | 72 |
| #4 | CÅMǾ | -0.11 | 51 | 69 |
| #5 | qb | -0.73 | 48 | 55 |





