








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 750 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 220 matches | ||
| Premier | 49 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 38 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2768 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,518 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1319 | 15% |
| Smokes | 2141 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 3744 | 44% |
| Molotovs | 1314 | 15% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,337,477 of utility $199 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 112 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Cyanide! | 67% | 21 |
| #2 | _Typhoon | 63% | 30 |
| #3 | superShady | 63% | 24 |
| #4 | CÅMǾ | 57% | 63 |
| #5 | Mamba | 56% | 186 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | CÅMǾ | 57% | 63 |
| #5 | Mamba | 56% | 186 |
| #6 | SuperSammy | 56% | 27 |
| #7 | qb | 52% | 126 |
| #8 | cr4ck | 50% | 28 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mamba | 7 | 0.0017 |
| #2 | _Typhoon | 3 | 0.0047 |
| #3 | superShady | 3 | 0.0058 |
| #4 | CÅMǾ | 2 | 0.0014 |
| #5 | Cyanide! | 2 | 0.0043 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | CÅMǾ | 457 | 0.32 | 13 min |
| #2 | qb | 345 | 0.12 | 9 min |
| #3 | Mamba | 310 | 0.08 | 8 min |
| #4 | cr4ck | 85 | 0.14 | 2 min |
| #5 | superShady | 68 | 0.13 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | cr4ck | +2.17 | 66 | 81 |
| #2 | BREEZY | +2.08 | 59 | 57 |
| #3 | _Typhoon | +1.31 | 58 | 64 |
| #4 | CÅMǾ | -0.13 | 57 | 72 |
| #5 | Mamba | -0.89 | 71 | 55 |





