








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 125 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 101 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 9 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1096 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,933 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2029 | 34% |
| Smokes | 1735 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 1029 | 17% |
| Molotovs | 1140 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $344,117 of utility $120 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 82 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bjaars | 58% | 12 |
| #2 | FakeNorwegian | 56% | 36 |
| #3 | tasta22 | 53% | 45 |
| #4 | Tinky Winky Off The Perc | 51% | 86 |
| #5 | Spice | 45% | 65 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bjaars | 58% | 12 |
| #2 | FakeNorwegian | 56% | 36 |
| #3 | tasta22 | 53% | 45 |
| #4 | Tinky Winky Off The Perc | 51% | 86 |
| #5 | Spice | 45% | 65 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Spice | 5 | 0.0035 |
| #2 | tasta22 | 4 | 0.0040 |
| #3 | Tinky Winky Off The Perc | 2 | 0.0011 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tinky Winky Off The Perc | 389 | 0.21 | 9 min |
| #2 | tasta22 | 103 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| #3 | Spice | 52 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| #4 | FakeNorwegian | 36 | 0.05 | 0 min |
| #5 | Bjaars | 19 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tinky Winky Off The Perc | +2.23 | 73 | 66 |
| #2 | tasta22 | +0.45 | 65 | 60 |
| #3 | Bjaars | -0.10 | 36 | 57 |
| #4 | SadFrog | -0.74 | 46 | 70 |
| #5 | Spice | -0.77 | 68 | 48 |





