








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 283 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 319 matches | ||
| Wingman | 17 matches | ||
| Faceit | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 50 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




20 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3151 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,950 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1103 | 16% |
| Smokes | 2116 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 2454 | 35% |
| Molotovs | 1277 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,605,774 of utility $201 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 460 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | FakeNorwegian | 52% | 27 |
| #2 | Bjaars | 52% | 33 |
| #3 | Tinky Winky Off The Perc | 49% | 78 |
| #4 | tasta22 | 47% | 47 |
| #5 | SadFrog | 45% | 65 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Bjaars | 52% | 33 |
| #3 | Tinky Winky Off The Perc | 49% | 78 |
| #4 | tasta22 | 47% | 47 |
| #5 | SadFrog | 45% | 65 |
| #6 | birkmu | 32% | 25 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SadFrog | 2 | 0.0014 |
| #2 | birkmu | 2 | 0.0047 |
| #3 | Tinky Winky Off The Perc | 1 | 0.0006 |
| #4 | FakeNorwegian | 1 | 0.0018 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tinky Winky Off The Perc | 340 | 0.20 | 8 min |
| #2 | SadFrog | 332 | 0.23 | 10 min |
| #3 | tasta22 | 78 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| #4 | Bjaars | 46 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| #5 | FakeNorwegian | 16 | 0.03 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tinky Winky Off The Perc | +2.18 | 74 | 65 |
| #2 | tasta22 | +1.11 | 69 | 66 |
| #3 | Spice | +0.20 | 66 | 48 |
| #4 | SadFrog | -1.20 | 45 | 70 |
| #5 | Bjaars | -1.69 | 44 | 58 |





